I was exploring Jocko Willink’s podcast and he said that his happiest times where in times of war. When there are tasks to complete, people to beat and things to get better at.
Some people need the stress to make their dopamine rise. I’m like that. Stressful situations make me feel accomplished. It shows that I’m doing things. Without stress I get bored and I fall into a rut, even a little depressed. The stress wakes me up. If something scares me it means that there is something to overcome. I have to keep getting stronger, become more disciplined because the stress reveals your weakness. And like a stain on a nice shirt, I move to make my weaknesses stronger.
I go after stress like a dog after rabbits. When I see that I am weak in one area I get happy because I found something where I can train and get stronger. Right now that stress is revealing that I need to work on my assertiveness and my aggression. For men, knowing how to get the job done gets respect. Assertiveness gets respect. And yes people will talk behind you, but they are behind you. You lead the pack because you know how to lead them to victory. You are strong to carry the criticism others have about you.
But this relationship with stress took me some time to get to. I used to be overwhelmed by it. Because I thought stress meant that I was a coward, insufficient and weak. Stress would stifle me into inaction instead of moving forward. I associated stress with humiliation and freezing up.
Just like there are people who have everything and still feel like they don’t have enough, our perception with stress can turn negative by how we see it.
John Wooden says, “I’m positive doers make mistakes. If you don’t make mistakes you are not doing anything.” Director Ron Howard says if you are a director you are going to look stupid sometimes. For happy people stress is getting stronger every day. If there is no stress, then I am dead, a coward for not trusting in myself to succeed.
The pain of stress is the weak version of me dying. The pain of now will make me stronger for tomorrow.